Here’s a situation that definitely isn’t exclusive for one sex or the other. It happens to men and women every day that begins with the rising of the sun. Your ex- gets a new boo-thang…and your insides twirl with an emotion that can best be described as a wildebeest being ran down by a ravenous hyena in the African grasslands.
Much like the amount of time it takes the hyena to catch the wildebeest, the rebound “relationship” between your ex and their next usually only lasts only a short time. Nevertheless, the aftermath of the catch goes on and on.
You, the wildebeest, tried desperately to escape any feelings whatsoever towards the person who by now, you wish never existed. Your emotions, the hyena, chases you down relentlessly. You sweat with fear, eyes bulging, tongue wagging, wishing this carnivorous beast would go away.
Alas, you can run no more. You were able to escape the subliminal messages you saw on Twitter and even an ominous picture or two on Facebook with minimal harm but you CANNOT ignore your mutual friends when they look to you and say “You know you done f*cked up right?”
If your life be so miserable, your ex will walk into the same venue you’re at — looking as good as a jar of ice water in the Mississippi heat.
And it doesn’t matter if you are with your own arm candy, your entire crew, your cousins or all the above. If he or she has entered with their ‘next,’ your insides will sink, your mouth will dry up and your heart will pound as your body heats up from the inside-out. You will have to grip the nearest piece of furniture for support and hum quietly to avoid racing over to the pair and ripping them limb from limb. On the outside, though, you seem as cool as a cucumber. Only someone perceptive enough to see the twitch in your left eye will know anything is amiss.
Sometimes this unspoken, and often unintentional, game is played back and forth. And truly enough, this happens to everyone. However, being the more egotistical of the species, men feel it more.
The man who once was ready to dismiss you in such a suave and swagged out manner, is now hitting your phone up ladies. He wants to know where you are, who you’re with and what y’all doing.
The man who so nonchalantly breezed over every care, concern and complaint you had during the relationship, now wants details about what you have going on from the moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning until the time you turn your TV off at night.
He, who so valiantly and bravely proclaimed that he loved you enough to let you go and wanted the best for you in all your future endeavors, is now calling you everything but a child of God through text message.
No, he’s not evil. He’s furious. He’s livid because of all the graphic details he’s made up in his head about what could be going on between you and so-so or even worse, you and such-and-such. B*tch, you know he hates such-and-such.
Weeks or months later, the angry barrage has discontinued. Now, there is loving adoration. Everything your ‘next’ sees in you, and lets you know on a regular basis, your ex realizes was there all along.
Now here’s something to note, ladies. He genuinely loves you and wants you back but don’t EVER think that’s all it is. This is about EGO. How DARE you be giving time and God knows what else to another man?!? That all belongs to him. Broke up or not, you’re his!
Most men could give a sh*t-less if a woman is at home — sad, lonely, thinking about him…damn near suicidal, but let her give another man some vital attention. *cue ambulance sirens, helicopter noises and horror movie screams*
So from here, the choice is yours, ladies. You can either entertain him and (possibly) give your love another chance or you can move on — with or without the next.
Let’s be honest. Most of us take him back. That was the point (or at least half the point) of the ‘next,’ right?
Some of us, though, can’t get past our own frustration and resentment as we think, “Oh, so now you want me? Now you care? Ain’t that some sh*t?” In this case, it’s better that as women we gracefully bow out.
In either case, let this be a lesson to you, gentlemen (and ladies). Reign in your ego while you’re in the relationship so that you won’t have to worry about battling it after the relationship is done.